Still Not Enough
There is a power in music that words alone cannot convey. Today in my church I sang in the choir and one of the songs was Jesus, My Savior. There is a line in the song that says “All of my life, yea, all my days, Still not enough to sing Thy praise”. And why is it still not enough? Because “what greater debt [is there] than mine to owe?” There was a time in my life when everything was going well as I wandered down the path of life, following the guidance I had received since I was young. Then there came a moment when I looked off to the side of the path and there was a broad way leading to bright lights, partying, and what seemed like endless fun. I suppose in many ways it was like looking at Pleasure Island in the Disney cartoon Pinocchio. Unfortunately, I did not stop at just looking.
Many years after wandering down this path and discovering that all the fun and happiness were a facade for sorrow, misery, and loss, and I had reached a point where I could sink no lower, I came to the realization that I needed to return to the original path now. Today. Although I did start making my way back to that better path immediately, it took a long time before I finally had both feet firmly planted where they had once been.
Every time I think about this - which almost seems like a dream or another lifetime - I wonder how it is possible I could be allowed to return to where we are all meant to be. How is it possible that someone such as I who has accumulated such an insurmountable amount of debt would ever be able to pay it off? But that’s the beauty of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I didn’t have to pay it back. I was forgiven. Completely. With the only condition that I don’t do it again. But that does not mean no one paid the debt. My Savior paid the debt. He suffered pain and humiliation beyond imagination. All for me and you. And simply because He loves with a perfect love and knew there was no other way for us.
For this reason it is still not enough. I will never have enough days or words in all the eternities to say thank you and praise the One who was perfect enough and brave enough to rescue me, even though I so often stumble or am stubborn and allow my pride to get in the way of good choices. Forever I am indebted to Him for the ultimate sacrifice He performed for me, Timothy Holley, and the hope He gave me when all seemed lost. Even though it is not enough, it is all I can give; so as the last line of the song states, “ever I will sing [His] praise”.
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