"Don't Judge, Love"

    I often wonder if sharing one of my weaknesses is the wisest thing to do when telling a story. My first thought is always, “perhaps if I do people will think less of me”. I fear the vulnerability expressing my struggles brings. However, I also know that there are moments when that potential loss of respect is needed in order to make a thought more impactful. With that being said I believe it is important to do so now.
    I all too often struggle with judging those I come into contact with. For instance I can remember doing this from years back when someone would walk into church dressed a certain way. Or maybe he was covered in tattoos and before even getting to know him I would say in my mind, “he is obviously this type of person”. Just the other day in fact I saw someone in a grocery store. He was unkempt, had a scraggly beard, a weathered face. And my initial thought was someone who is probably on drugs and homeless and unemployed. Someone who has wasted his life away. There was almost a note of condemnation in my thought. As I look back, even though no one knew of this - and most importantly the one who was judged - I feel so much shame and know that if someone was truly in the wrong at this moment it was me. On top of this I am so far from perfect. I have failed more often than many and regularly seek forgiveness or need to change my path. By what right can I ever look down on someone else who is struggling through this all too often crazy journey of ours?
    In response to this I have thought long and hard of how I can change this mindset. How can I stop judging those I come into contact with? How can I get past that initial interaction that may cause me to think negatively of another person? There are two simple expressions I have come up with to immediately place in my heart and mind when I begin to judge. I would suggest trying one at the very least, but both perhaps will provide the greatest change in our culture.
    The first I somewhat adapted from Whitney Cummings. I heard her once say, “every time you meet someone, just in your head say, ‘I love you’ before you have a conversation with them, and that conversation is going to go a lot better.” I have slightly amended this to say “don’t judge, love”…even if you aren’t going to talk to him or her. Love - true Christlike love - is the source of all goodness in this world. By choosing to love the person regardless of their imperfections - to take him as he is, to do this even just as a thought - will completely change how you perceive the other person. I do this with every small interaction. If someone is cutting me off in a line. If I see someone who appears different from me. If I ever start to feel I am better than someone I quietly speak to my mind “don’t judge, love”.
    The second has been borrowed from the great book on redemption Les Misérables. When the Bishop shows forth charity towards the criminal Valjean he says, “Jean Valjean, my brother, you no longer belong to evil, but to good” (italics added). In the musical, Valjean’s response is:

                   Yet why did I allow that man
                   To touch my soul and teach me love?
                   He treated me like any other
                   He gave me his trust
                   He called me brother

How simple is that? When you meet someone remember who they are. Remember where we all came from. Every person you meet is either your brother or your sister. Think of them that way. Think it or say it out loud if you can so they hear it. And - most importantly - truly mean it. “He is my brother.” “She is my sister.”
    Christ never looked down on those who were different or making poor choices. He shared a kind word, extended a hand, and - although it doesn’t specifically mention this in the Bible - I imagine he always shared a gentle smile. We at times will want to think less of those around us. I know I still do and it isn’t who I want to be. But with these two expressions - "don't judge, love" and "my brother" - I believe we can truly move in the right direction and follow the example our Savior set so long ago. Just perhaps this is the change we need in the world right now.