“A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” ― Seneca
While preparing my dinner on a recent Friday night I was thinking how sad it was that my dinner was a Hungry-Man microwave meal (Selects edition of course because I never go cheap when purchasing frozen meals). On top of that I was eating by myself. I had my phone out ready to take a photo and post it to social media complaining - in a joking way of course - about how terrible my life is. But just before I did a simple impression came to me, “I have food to eat”. I will have dinner tonight. And for too many people that isn’t the case. Too many will have to go hungry tonight. And unfortunately for others, the lack of food may be the least of their worries.
This impression led to even more thoughts as I ate my meal and pondered on this truth. I took pause and reflected about so much that I take for granted. I have affordable and easily accessible food in great variety within a five minute drive. I have fresh, clean water to drink in my house. I have a roof over my head. I have an amazing family. I have great friends. I have a wonderful dog to come home to every day. And yet with all of this I was choosing to focus on what I didn’t have.
I - and I would imagine most of us out there - tend to complain more than we should. I know I do this more often than I want to, both in a joking and not so joking way. Too often we wonder why I don’t have this latest gadget or that vacation that we see people on Facebook or in the neighborhood have. None of us have the “perfect” life, whatever that may be. However there is so much we do have. From the big things: we live in the greatest, most innovative time in history; we live in free, prosperous nations; many have spouses and children to brighten up the home with laughter and joy. To the small things: a neighbor dropping off homemade bread; a mountain trail to hike behind the house; and yes…microwave dinners.
This isn’t meant to chastise or make anyone feel bad because they occasionally consider the things that aren’t going the way they want in life. I believe it’s natural to want more. Really, it’s just a reminder that we truly have so much to be thankful for. It’s so easy to forget all the gifts that this life and God have given us. It’s so easy to focus on our imperfect family. Or our job not being the greatest, most exciting thing ever. Or the talents we wish we had (“if only I could sing as well as so and so…”).
It’s also a reminder - and for me this is what is most important - that, as Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “we can choose to be grateful, no matter what”. Gratitude is the key to happiness and is available regardless of our situation. Each of us can always carry in our heart the spirit of gratitude and look for the things, big and small, that make this life so great.
There is a power in music that words alone cannot convey. Today in my church I sang in the choir and one of the songs was Jesus, My Savior. There is a line in the song that says “All of my life, yea, all my days, Still not enough to sing Thy praise”. And why is it still not enough? Because “what greater debt [is there] than mine to owe?” There was a time in my life when everything was going well as I wandered down the path of life, following the guidance I had received since I was young. Then there came a moment when I looked off to the side of the path and there was a broad way leading to bright lights, partying, and what seemed like endless fun. I suppose in many ways it was like looking at Pleasure Island in the Disney cartoon Pinocchio. Unfortunately, I did not stop at just looking.
Many years after wandering down this path and discovering that all the fun and happiness were a facade for sorrow, misery, and loss, and I had reached a point where I could sink no lower, I came to the realization that I needed to return to the original path now. Today. Although I did start making my way back to that better path immediately, it took a long time before I finally had both feet firmly planted where they had once been.
Every time I think about this - which almost seems like a dream or another lifetime - I wonder how it is possible I could be allowed to return to where we are all meant to be. How is it possible that someone such as I who has accumulated such an insurmountable amount of debt would ever be able to pay it off? But that’s the beauty of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I didn’t have to pay it back. I was forgiven. Completely. With the only condition that I don’t do it again. But that does not mean no one paid the debt. My Savior paid the debt. He suffered pain and humiliation beyond imagination. All for me and you. And simply because He loves with a perfect love and knew there was no other way for us.
For this reason it is still not enough. I will never have enough days or words in all the eternities to say thank you and praise the One who was perfect enough and brave enough to rescue me, even though I so often stumble or am stubborn and allow my pride to get in the way of good choices. Forever I am indebted to Him for the ultimate sacrifice He performed for me, Timothy Holley, and the hope He gave me when all seemed lost. Even though it is not enough, it is all I can give; so as the last line of the song states, “ever I will sing [His] praise”.
Back in December I was listening to a Tim Ferris podcast and he mentioned one of the daily routines he has is to write in his Five-Minute Journal morning and night. I hadn’t heard of this product, but I am a big believer in journal writing. Unfortunately I am a little inconsistent when it comes to writing something down on a daily - or even weekly - basis. I decided to give this journal a try and see if I could stick with it for an extended period of time.
There are six months worth of pages in each of the journals and I was successfully able to write every day - even though traveling and an irregular schedule made this difficult. I am now on my second journal, but I wanted to share some of my thoughts about this half-year experiment with you.
Consistency - This was one of the most important benefits I was looking for when I picked up the Five-Minute Journal and the primary reason for making the purchase. I wanted something that would better incentivize me to write - if just a few sentences - every day for more than a couple of weeks before slacking off again. I followed their suggestions and left it with a pen by my bed, even when I was in a different country. It was the first and last thing I saw every day. As a result there is an entry for every date from the time I started. There is a special kind of confidence in yourself that comes from consistently doing something you have determined to do for an extended period. I know that if I can do something as simple as write in this journal every day for 6 months I can build any habit I set my mind to.
Planning - This was an attribute of the journal I didn’t know about before I bought it. There is a space in the morning section to write 3 things that would make the day great. It forces me to think about what I need or want to accomplish each day. This doesn’t necessarily translate to action unfortunately (one of the habits I am still working to cultivate), but it provides a way for me to write down on paper what would make the next 12-16 hours amazing. During school it helped me think about assignments, on the weekend I would think about fun activities to do with friends, and on the Sabbath it would help me come up with ways for my day of worship to be more meaningful. This simple tool to organize and prioritize for the day made each one more productive.
Gratitude / Positive Thinking - One of my characteristics I am constantly working on is being less negative. I have a tendency to look for the bad in people or events too often. My humor is more often than not self-deprecating or sarcastic. I have talked with many people and read a lot about positive psychology and how you can be happier if you focus on the blessings and good things that happen from day to day. This journal was a tool that helped turn this theory into action. In the morning I write 3 things I am grateful for. In the evening I write 3 amazing things that happened. Both of these sections can be either big things (thankful for awesome parents, I graduated from the MBA program today) or small (thankful for the sun shining through my window, I stopped and talked to a friend in the hall today). Regardless it provides uplifting thoughts to bookend my day. Without a doubt that has been the biggest reward for using this journal. It is not to say I don’t have bad days or sad things happen or failures anymore. It does mean that training the mind to focus more on the good - and less on the bad - makes me a happier person, someone people are more willing to interact with, and better able to face the trials we all go through in this life.
As I have already said I bought a second one and am working my way through it now. It is a simple thing, yet I have seen great benefits and the 5 minutes a day is more than a worthwhile investment in me as I continue to improve. I would definitely recommend you pick one up and try the Five-Minute Journal experience.
I’m writing this as I sit in the Narita Airport waiting for my flight back to the States. It’s hard to believe two weeks have come and gone so quickly. It had been two years since I last saw my friends, but when they picked me up at the airport it’s like it was only yesterday when we were in Hawaii playing Phase 10 or sitting on the beach at Lanikai. I spent my last evening with them in Okinawa just sitting in a sushi restaurant talking about whatever came to mind. While I do love traveling in general I think being able to spend time with good friends builds memories that last well beyond the end of a trip. And it was even more special to be there to share the special moment of them finding out they are having a boy.
I also want to say how much I love Japan. There is just something about the culture and people that draws me to this country and makes it hard to leave. The people are courteous and it’s clean and safe unlike anywhere else I have ever been. I suppose learning to speak the language would make it even better as it would be nice to communicate with them a little more. Of course I can’t say enough about the food here and how I could easily eat out at the different cafes and restaurants every day. There is just so much more to see and learn and do. Unfortunately time is the ever dwindling resource that I never seem to have enough of.
I always encourage people to travel. There is so much to see. The world is such a big place. While it may be easier or safer to stay in our home and live from day to day we all need to get out and explore. I have never regretted an adventure to another country. I have learned and grown so much from my travels. I have met many people with such different stories from mine. In the words of Ellie from Up, “Adventure is out there…now go have a new one!”
I had a couple of low key days as John and Eunice both had to work and I am still too scared to venture out on foot or a bicycle due to the heat. I was able to spend some time with Amelia - one of my new friends here - and help her deliver a cake for her business. We also ended up having lunch at American Village with one of her friends. If I haven’t mentioned American Village yet it’s exactly what the name says. It’s a shopping district with restaurants that is meant to be like an American seaside tourist spot. I even helped her bake one of her cakes later that evening…although I mostly played with her pups and ate parts of the cake not being used.
It was a special day for John and Eunice as they found out the sex of their baby. They're going to have a boy and I couldn’t be more excited for them. They are going to be awesome parents. There was supposed to be a special dinner reveal, but the secret wasn’t kept too long after they found out so they just told everyone.
The weekend weather was perfect for a trip to the beach. We had a bit of a late start - that’s island living though - and then went to try and buy something for photos to reveal the baby’s sex. It was fun walking around “the bunny store” (not sure if that’s the real name…) looking for some kind of clothing or toy to identify the baby as a boy in a photo.
Our beach for today was on one of the smaller islands - Ikei - off the main island of Okinawa. It’s a very pretty drive as we crossed over a couple of other islands to get there. There are mostly fields with the occasional home or cafe on these islands. We had to pay ¥500 (~$5) a piece to get to the beach. This is the first time I have ever paid to use a beach. I’m not sure I approve of it. Once again the sand was incredibly hot. We brought a small tent to provide some shade, but unfortunately we left the most important part…the canopy. So we retreated to the water, which was just perfect.
One of the main missions of our trip to the beach was to get the perfect photo for John and Eunice to reveal the baby is going to be a boy. We took a bunch of photos with a lot of different poses. Fortunately I am a patient and professional iPhone photographer. The one they picked out for social media was good though and worth it. Plus it’s fun to do things like that with friends. Other than that it was a wonderful afternoon of just relaxing and talking and floating in the cool water. As the sun began to set off in the distance we headed back to find some food. The first place we went to had just closed up. Fortunately this was on another small island so even with this disappointment we were treated to new views of the ocean and little islands.
Our next stop was King Taco. They are apparently famous for something called taco cheese rice. It’s basically taco meat on rice topped with shredded cheese. Definitely not my favorite meal of the trip but edible. It was a long day so after we got home we all had some well-deserved sleep.
The next day I was finally able to go diving in the famous Okinawan waters. It was another perfect day for being outside. Our first dive spot was Onna Point - the Toilet Bowl. It took us a couple of tries to find the right road as the GPS sent us down this random trail in the wrong direction. The correct road was one of the junkies roads I have ever seen in Japan with massive potholes. The actual dive spot was a little sketchy getting in. And even worse getting out. You have to climb along this sharp rock formation right on the edge of the water. Getting out you have to climb back on this rock so gloves are required. The tide was a little low and it kept dropping while we climbed out and we were left dangling on the rock. At least a couple of us struggled getting out and got cut up.
The dive though was amazing. Water warm enough to not need a wet suit. Deep blues. Schools of fish floating right by us. Some of the group saw sharks a little ways off. This was also my first time diving without a guide although one of the group is a diving medical officer in the Navy. I also went my deepest yet at close to 80 feet.
Because of the low tide and the struggle to get out we decided to go to Cape Maeda for the next dive. This might not have been the best idea. There was a ridiculously long line to get parking. We spent almost an hour and a half trying to go maybe half a mile. We should have just parked and walked with out gear. Then the water itself was full of people snorkeling and diving. It reminded me of Hanauma Bay on Oahu. However, it was another great spot to see some fish and just relax in the ocean. We were treated with more large fish and hung out in a little cave that had much colder water than what we had been swimming in.
We finished up a perfect day with lunch at the seawall followed by ridiculously big and delicious shakes. I got a large because the medium looked too small. But since I don’t let good food go to waste I downed it and had no regrets. We finished up with more good food - this time at an Indian place. After that my bed was calling me and I answered.
This has been a beautiful week in Okinawa. No rain and plenty of sunshine. John took Monday off to take me around and cruise some of the tourist spots. We first went and grabbed lunch at a fried rice place. I have never just had fried rice for a meal and it was amazing. It comes with a raw egg on top and a little bowl of onion soup. It’s very flavorful and actually kind of filling. Our first tourist stop was at Shurijo Castle. It is in Naha and has been around since the 1300s although it has been rebuilt since it was destroyed in World War II. It’s definitely the biggest of all the castles I’ve been to and also the only complete one with a museum inside to see what it was like to live there as the king or queen.
There is a big courtyard in front of the main palace that has rows of colored tiles where dignitaries sat on the stone based on their rank with a large pathway in the middle for the king and royal guests. It reminded me of the Jet Li movie Hero. Inside they had completely rebuilt the halls and rooms where it looked brand new. The ceilings were kind of low so there was a lot of crouching from me even though I'm not that tall. There was a peaceful little spot where you could sit on the outside pathway with your legs dangling and enjoy a little garden with a slight breeze. The one interesting thing was it was kind of dark in the throne rooms for both the queen and king. It seemed there were not windows and the walls and floors were all painted black or dark red. It’s always fun to imagine what it was like four or five hundred years ago in these buildings and how people actually lived and what their stories were. Especially since these are the types of buildings you see in video games.
We then drove to the city center to drive down the main street (Kokusai) which reminded me of the strip in Waikiki. Just a lot of shops and restaurants and tons of people. Very touristy. Very crowded. Way too much traffic. We had dinner was at one of the new malls on island. It’s a big AEON shopping mall that’s very open and I’m sure is great for events like shows or dances. The food court was on two floors and there were way too many options. We ended up doing this sliced roast beef on rice dish. It came with a dollop of horseradish yoghurt. It was actually a lot better than I thought it was going to be.
Eunice took the day off on Wednesday and we had a very busy day. We went to one of the prettiest spots I’ve ever been to. Cape Maeda is surrounded by rocky cliffs with crystal clear water perfect for diving. There are beaches off in the distance and lots of green covering the rocks. Unfortunately, there isn’t a place to rent gear so we just walked around. I still can’t believe how hot and sweaty you get in just a couple of minutes here.
Ryukyu Mura was our next stop and it was very similar to the Polynesian Cultural Center and other similar places with a wide variety of ways to view traditional Okinawan life and even some opportunities to interact if you pay a little extra. You can see habu snakes, watch dances, build pottery, learn to play an instrument and feed fish. It might have been a little pricier than it needed to be at ¥1200. And it was extremely hot again so we tried to find shade as often as possible. This nice young lady was handing out towelettes dipped in ice which felt amazing. Then I had a shave ice which also was amazingly refreshing. I was confused how to purchase it at first and found out you pay into a vending machine type thing and then hand over a ticket to the people running the counter. Otherwise you’ll sit there for hours apparently.
We found a nice beach to go to. Zanpa beach was not too big but had a swimming area and wasn’t very crowded. We were going to rent beach chairs and an umbrella to escape the heat. But after we found out it was ¥3500 we decided to just lay on our towels and suffer under the sun. The water was a perfect temperature though and it was amazing just floating in the water. The sand was a little more rocky than I like, but don’t want to complain after the relief it provided. I decided to not put on sunscreen because we were only going to be out there for an hour. That was a mistake as my poor white skin definitely got cooked. We had a nice chat about life while we just relaxed in the ocean and then grabbed lunch at a Hawaiian style place.
Our final stop was at one more castle. Nakagusuku Castle is just some ruins with only the stone walls, open fields, and a prayer area left. It’s a large complex and it was nice walking bare foot through the grass. It was set up to be three squares in a row each as a different enclosure. The views of the surrounding countryside and ocean were quite spectacular. There was even a pretty red Buddhist temple off in the distance. Unfortunately the heat was really starting to get to us so we didn’t dawdle too long. We were sufficiently tired, hot, and definitely sunburned so we headed home. I didn’t realize how bad I was until I got home and saw I had turned completely red in the face.
The rain hasn’t quite stopped - it still just comes and goes. I spent Saturday remembering how weak I am by going to the gym and then jiu jitsu with John. It’s always motivating to go to a Marine gym. Although I then begin to miss my time in the Marines. After blasting our legs with a thousand reps of front squats and deadlifts we went to John’s BJJ dojo. He’s been doing it for years and is a legit practitioner. I’ve been a couple of times and am always humbled after twenty or thirty minutes rolling with other students - mostly novices like myself. I successfully came away with sore ribs and hip, some missing skin, and a cramped quadricep. Being old and out of shape is no joke. I was fortunate enough to see John get another stripe added to his brown belt. I like being able to take part in these types of experiences and celebrate the achievements of friends.
Side note: We had an interesting talk on the way home about the importance of consistency in achieving mastery and how BJJ teaches you to focus on technique instead of relying too heavily on strength alone. Too often we want to be the best after one or two days of practice. Mastery is a long journey that takes years of dedicated training putting in the time day in and day out even when you have no desire. Sometimes it may feel like no progress is being made, but looking back after five or ten years you will be amazed at how far you have come. It also takes humility to grow and accept the teaching of one who has already made the journey. There will be many who are willing to help you along the way. However, if pride gets in the way and you think your strength or current skill is enough then the journey ends. There was much more to this - perhaps I will write a full post on this in the future.
For dinner we went out with a bunch of John and Eunice’s friends and ended up getting Thai food at the American Village. We tried to eat outside but the rains were coming sideways and some people don’t like to get wet while eating for some reason. Inside it was dry but kind of stuffy. We then ventured over to a karaoke studio and proceeded to spend a couple of hours badly singing our favorite tunes. There may have been drinking - from the others…not me - and we may have lived up to the stereotype of loud Americans. This brought back memories and felt like I was back in the Corps again hanging out with rowdy Marines. One of their friends may or may not have passed out trying to get into their house, but everyone survived so it was a successful evening.
Sunday brekky was at the American Village again. I had something that was neither Japanese nor American - Canadian Benedict with a side of an amazing ocean view. The sun was out so we could really see all the blues and greens in their various shades.
Our first stop was at the Okinawa Peace Memorial. This is a fairly large park with green fields, a museum, and rows of names on black stone walls. Hundreds of thousands of names were on these walls and it was a stark reminder of the cost of even one battle in a prolonged war. It is a beautiful memorial that sits on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. There weren’t many people there and it was quiet allowing me time to reflect on what had happened here only a few decades ago. The museum inside is very well done with life-sized sets and movies and testimonials of those who endured the horror of this battle. I would definitely recommend anyone on Okinawa to take the couple of hours to go. It is a reminder of how much death, how much destructions, how much loss, and how much rebuilding comes about because people choose to hate. We must never forget the suffering caused by war especially on those innocents we are meant to protect.
There was also a peace hall with a prayer statue that looked very similar to a Buddha. There are beautiful paintings inside of Japanese nature and people in traditional garb and it all points to the message of preserving peace. Above the statue at the top of the tower are many small glass bulbs that appear as stars representing the infiniteness of space where the war dead can finally rest.
We then made our way over to the Ryukyu glass blowing museum and shop. They have an open space where we could observe their work. It was extremely hot by the furnace on top of the hot of the day. I’m not sure how the workers do it hour after hour every day. But it is amazing to watch their craft as they quickly and smoothly take molten glass and mold it into whatever shape they desire. We walked around the store where there are probably thousands of pieces to purchase and noticed much of it was actually from Vietnam. We found a place to play various games including one similar to beer pong. We all won a couple of glasses and had some fun for only ¥300 per round.
We finished up with dinner at a Japanese curry place with one of John’s work buddies. I thought it would be a good idea to order extra meat and get spice level 3 (out of 10). Both were bad ideas as it was way too much food and way too spicy for my weak tongue. But katsu always hits the spot and it was another good evening with great people.
